Leadership Tip # 4
Why do people Resist and freak out and sabotage their success?
The comfort of the rosebud staying tight and safe in the end was outweighed by the risk and the excitement of the rose opening one petal at a time to realize its full magnificence.
This metaphor well describes the process of fully becoming the best we can be to maximise our full potential and blossom, so why is this so difficult for some and why do they stay closed, or resist blossoming?
The process of resistance is called the Impasse, which translates from French to English “To be stuck“. So why do we get stuck when we know what we want and where we want to be?
Well it’s all to do with the ‘Ego’ or sense of self, or the beliefs and perceptions that make us who we are. You’ve probably heard stories of people who win millions of dollars in the lotto and just upgrade their caravan in the trailer park and blow their money, or average couples who become miserable after they have a big win and get divorced or the business owner who reaches their goals and feels miserable, the person who finds their dream partner in life and sabotages the relationship. All of these behaviours are usually connected to the impasse. Why you ask? The new life is not congruent with the beliefs they have about who they are.
The impasse is the destruction of our sense of self. The neural maps in our brain are well worn to do certain automatic behaviours (Habits) when we challenge these habits we are creating new neural maps and this is the feeling of moving out of the comfort zone, often there is a feeling of a tight knot in the solar plexus or gut, sometimes we feel nauseas or constipated.
The feeling in the gut is related to anxiety, when we are moving out of the comfort zone we then move into fight, flight or freeze reaction which creates all sorts of strange and irrational behaviour.
So how do we move through the Impasse? Well the best way to do this is to sit with the discomfort and allow the confusion, frustration and anxiety to be there. Let’s call it ‘The Law of Allowing’. When we support ourselves in the discomfort of change or learning and be patient the integration of our new sense of self takes place and we can truly become who we were put here to be, to reach our full potential and create the lifestyle we desire.
So next time you are feeling frustrated, confused or fearful of change remember to ‘Embrace the discomfort,’ because life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.